The Birthday Party

Bill, Frank, Marvin, Judy, Tanya, Donna
All:
Happy birthday to what's her name, Happy birthday to what's her name, It's nice that we can have a party! Happy birthday to what's her name.
Bill:
By the way can someone tell me, whose birthday it is?
Tanya:
I have no idea, what difference does it make?
Anna:
Yeh, that's kind of a dumb question Bill! Who cares whose birthday it is!
Frank:
Absolutely! The important thing is that we get a day off work. Anybody who does have to work gets double time and a half. And we get lots of presents!
Tanya:
You know, I seem to remember not getting as many presents as you at the last birthday party. That made me a little upset.
Bill:
Was it your birthday party?
Tanya:
No! What is that supposed to do with it?
Bill:
Well, I just don't understand why you would expect a birthday present at someone else's birthday.
Marvin:
So, if I get this straight then, what you propose is to have birthday parties only for the person whose birthday it is. Is that correct?
Bill:
Yes, yes, that's exactly it.
Marvin:
I must say, very revolutionary! (muses) My birthday - I get the presents. Her birthday - she gets the presents. His birthday - he gets the presents. Well, I suppose it could work, would take some getting used to, however.
Judy:
But really, how is this supposed to work? So we come to someone's birthday party, and what do we do? We don't get to open any presents. All we could do is to sit around, saying Happy Birthday and stuff. Pretty boring.
Bill:
But it is someone's birthday, isn't it?
Tanya:
Of course it's someone's birthday. If it wasn't do you think we would be here at a birthday party? And we would have all these decorations and stuff?
Donna:
Good grief! Do you think we would be giving birthday presents if it wasn't a birthday?
Marvin:
My birthday - I get the presents. Her birthday - she gets the presents. His birthday - he gets the presents. Hmmm, interesting indeed!
Donna:
Wait a second. If Bill's theory gets off the ground we will all have only one time during the year when a person will get presents. Now I happen to represent a very, very influential chain of stores. We will fight this to the bitter end!
Tanya:
Well, I'm just glad to have so many friends with birthday parties! Do you realize I haven't missed a birthday party in, I don't know, seems like, well, a long time!
Judy:
I'm so glad my friend invited me to this birthday party!
Bill:
So you received an invitation to this party?
Judy:
Do I look like the type who would go to a birthday party without being invited? Well, there was that one time - but really, do I look like I would do...!
Bill:
What I meant was, if you received an invitation, that means you know who it came from, so you know whose birthday it is.
Frank:
I can tell you that. It's What's Her Name's birthday.
Bill:
What's Her Name? Who is that?
Frank:
Oh I have no idea, I've never met her but someone told me that it was What's Her Name's birthday.
Marvin:
Uhh huh, uhh huh, uhh huh! (thinks) My birthday - I get the presents. Her birthday - she gets the presents. His birthday - he gets the presents. I believe I can see the general principle here!
Bill:
You mean you have come to a birthday party for someone you have never met, and you don't even know her name?
Frank:
Sure! Why not? And there are some awesome presents for me too!
Bill:
This is incredible! Someone must know whose birthday it is?
Judy:
Ya know, I think I remember whose birthday it is...yea, yea I think I do. I used to know her. I haven't seen her or talked to her for a long time but, oh yeh, I know her all right.
Bill:
What's her name?
Judy:
Whose name?
Bill:
The one who is having the birthday?
Judy:
Oh, her. I can't remember. Jackie, I think. Or Jennie. No, that's not right! Juanita, no! Really what difference does it make what her name is anyway?
Bill:
What do you mean, what difference does it make? It's her birthday!
Marvin:
Yes. Yes. Yes! My birthday - I get the presents. Her birthday - she gets the presents. His birthday - he gets the presents. The light has come on!
Donna:
The light has come on? Somebody bring an extra battery for him!
Tanya:
Marvin takes a very small battery!
Bill:
I can't believe this! A birthday party for someone who nobody knows. And we totally ignore the person who is having the birthday!
Judy:
I just remembered! Her name is Jessie!
Tanya:
And you thought no one knew whose birthday it was! Now then, does anyone have some more birthday presents for me?
Bill:
For you? But it's not your birthday. Shouldn't we be giving gifts to Jessie? After all it's her birthday!
Frank:
Where are you from? You really have some weird ideas, don't you! Next thing we know you will expect us to sing "Happy Birthday" to her, just cause it's her birthday!
Tanya:
You need some professional help.
Judy:
Look guys, let's leave Bill by himself. He's spoiling our birthday party.
Marvin:
Or we could go, my birthday - I get the presents. Her birthday - she gets the presents. His birthday - he gets the presents. I wonder if I could patent this concept?
All:
Happy birthday to what's her name, Happy birthday to what's her name, It's nice that we can have a party! Happy birthday to what's her name.