Who Wants To Be The Winner...
Reggie, Al, Bob
Reggie:
Hello I'm Reggie Filltin, welcome to “Who Wants to be the Winner of a Ten Dollar Gift Certificate?”. Our contestants have been given a test, prior to the show, and we have chosen – based on the results – who will play first. Now welcome the first contestant – Albert Qubeck! Hello Albert – what's it feel like to be here?
Al:
Hi Reggie – I must admit I though I did horribly on the test. I figured I was the worse one. After the test all of us compared answers – an nobody had the same answers I did.
Reggie:
Well, things can be unexpected on this show – are you ready to try for a ten dollar gift certificate?
Reggie:
You know the rules of the game, right Al? – you have three life-lines: Ask the Expert – where you ask an expert, 25-75 – where the computer takes away one answer, and Phone a Friend – where you phone a friend. If you answer 5 questions correctly you become the winer of a 10 dollar gift certificate. Are you ready for the first question?
Reggie:
How many day's of Christmas are there according to the Christmas song “The Twelve Days of Christmas”? Is it “A. 1” “B. 2” “C. 3” or “D. 4”?
Al:
Umm... I've heard this song once or twice.... Have you ever heard it?
Al:
Well, it's a pretty long song – are you sure one of them is the right answer?
Reggie:
Uh...wait...let me read that again. Is it “A. 1” “B. 2” “C. 3” or “D. 12”?
Reggie:
You absolutely ri...is that your final answer?
Reggie:
Your absolutely right! Are you ready for question number 2?
Reggie:
When you go around singing Christmas Carols is it called – “A. Falling” “B. Squeaking” “C. Caroling” or “D. Trying to get Christmas Cookies”?
Al:
Hmmm.... I've never actually gone Caroling befo....
Al:
So you know the answer Reggie?
Reggie:
Of course I do – I'm the host.
Al:
So are you gonna tell me?
Al:
Rats! Well, seeing that your not gonna help and I've never gone Caroling before I'd like to ask the expert.
Reggie:
All right – here's your expert. Dr. Paul Trilken, a respected micro-biological archaeologist.
Reggie:
A micro-biological archaeologist.
Dr. Trilken:
Hello – I found an insect the other day – fascinating really!
Al:
But the question has nothing to do with micro biological arc...
Reggie:
Micro-biological archeology.
Reggie:
We don't want to be a winer do we Al?
Reggie:
Well, Dr. Trilken here's the question. When you go around singing Christmas Carols is it called – “A. Falling” “B. Squeaking” “C. Caroling” or “D. Trying to get Christmas Cookies”?
Dr. Trilken:
Well, it's definitely not Caroling. Based on my research – I have no idea. But I can make an educated guess – that what they taught me a school. Singing Christmas Carols... hmmm... could be falling, maybe squeaking? No, I'd say “Trying to get Christmas Cookies.
Reggie:
Well, Al – what's your answer?
Al:
Ummm... I think it's “C. Caroling”.
Reggie:
But that's exactly what Dr. Trilken said it wasn't...
Reggie:
Is that your final answer?
Reggie:
Are you sure about that?
Reggie:
100% absolutely positively sure?
Reggie:
So that's your final answer?
Reggie:
Your absolutely, wrong! Oops, I read it wrong again... your right!
Al:
But Reggie, Wrong and right are spelled nothing a like... how did you get it mixed up!?
Reggie:
Well, I'm sorta new at this.
Al:
Well, you really scared me that time Reggie.
Reggie:
Well that was in the job description Al.
Al:
So, are you going to ask me the question Reggie?
Reggie:
Oh right I'm sorry. What is sometimes put in your house during Christmas time? “A. Christmas Bush” “B. Christmas Tree” “C. Christmas Flower” or “D. Your Mother-in-law”?
Al:
Hmm, I'm not sure... I think I'd like to use my phone a friend.
Reggie:
Who would you like to call?
Al:
Tony – the pizza delivery guy – He's probably the smartest guy I know.
Reggie:
All right – let's wait while we use a phone card to connect you to Tony.
Al:
A phone card? That's sorta...well... che...
Reggie:
Well, it doesn't look like we'll be hearing from Tony - Any other friends you'd like to here from?
Al:
Umm, Bob – my neighbor – He changed a light bulb once.
Reggie:
Alrighty then, let's get Bob on the line.
Reggie:
Bob, your friend Al needs your help. He'll have 30 seconds starting now...
Al:
Bob, what is sometimes put in your house during Christmas time? “ Christmas Bush” “Christmas Tree” “Christmas Flower” or “Your Mother-in-law”?
Reggie:
Maybe you should give him the letters too – that might help.
Al:
Oh, right... What is sometimes put in your house during Christmas time? “ A. Christmas Bush” “B. Christmas Tree” “C. Christmas Flower” or “D. Your Mother-in-law”?
Bob:
Oh, that one's easy, it's...wait – I got a call on the other line.
Bob:
Ahh, telemarketer ...the answer is...
Reggie:
Oh, you're out of time.
Al:
But he put me on hold!
Reggie:
We don't want to be a whiner do we Al?
Reggie:
Well, what do you think it is Al?
Al:
Umm ...I'll go with B. Christmas Tree.... my mother-in-law comes over more than just during Christmas
Al:
Yea, pretty sure. I think she's there a lot.
Reggie:
No I mean about the answer – are you sure it's “B. Christmas Tree”?
Al:
It has to be right – it rhymes. B is my final answer Reggie.
Reggie:
You can't say that.
Reggie:
Because I didn't ask you.
(Another unnaturally long pause)
Al:
Are you going to ask me?
Reggie:
Is that you final answer?
Al:
Yes, that is my final answer.
Reggie:
The answer is “B. Christmas Tree”!
Al:
Yes! One more question right?
Al:
5 Questions... We've gone over 4...
Reggie:
Oh right, and here it is – for a 10 dollar gift certificate – in what city did the angels tell the shepherds to look for the new born Child that first Christmas? “A. Allentown” “B. Bethlehem” “C. Easton” or “D. They told them to look in a manger.”?
Al:
Oh, this one's tough. I need to use my 75-25.
Reggie:
Alright, the computer will take away one answer.
Al:
Wait – what if it's the right answer?
Reggie:
Better hope it's not.
Reggie:
We wouldn't want to be a whiner, now would we Al?
Reggie:
Computer take away one answer. Hmm...now here's you choices Al – “A. Allentown” “B. Bethlehem” or “D. They told them to look in a manger.”?
Al:
Hmm...if I remember correctly, the Child was born in Bethlehem – but the angels told the shepherds to look for Him in a manger. So I'll go with “D. They told them to look in a manger.”
Reggie:
Now, is that you final answer?
Reggie:
Congratulations Al. You've won a 10 dollar gift certificate!
Reggie:
Now, don't spend it all in one place!
Al:
But it's a gift certificate! I can only spend it in one place!
Reggie:
Oh, alright, just do spend it all at one time.
Al:
But it says, “For One Purchase Only”.
Reggie:
Okay, then spend it all at one place, spend it all at one time. But don't say I didn't warn you. And join us next time for “Who Wants To Be The Winner Of A Ten Dollar Gift Certificate!”
Copyright © 2005 Timothy J Lytle